Isolation as a mother in this country is a very big and real issue. It is such a blessing to stay home with the babies of our world but what a lot of work it is and sometimes just trying to make a meal is a real feat. I can see why there is post partum depression here in the U.S. and wonder if this issue is as great in other countries where the mother and parents are supported by the whole family especially the female members. And I also wonder as those countries become more industrialized and more big city oriented if post partum depression increases. This is the scoop, there is no real community set up in the U.S. for stay at home mom's unless you live in the same city or area as your family. And even then, depending on the way the supporting family members live life, it may not be that supportive. There is very little time for community oriented activities without a time limit. Even if you can meet up with some friends, many times there is a time limit because they work 40-60 hours a week and they work hard so their time is really precious. Our society is just busy.
This contrasts drastically with the Tanzanian culture of you have time to talk to anyone even if you will be late for work. And you can get off of work for funerals, weddings and many other happenings without getting fired if you stay beyond your expected time off. I really like the idea of having time for people and miss that kind of thinking.
There must be a middle ground between these two cultures. I know that in Japan, it is way worse in terms of time especially for the father in the family. I hope one day that we can work but not work ourselves to death. I hope that we can actually have time to volunteer to help others that may need our help. I hope that we can have time to help ourselves in a more person to person community building type of way in the near future. This means not worrying that we only have an hour to spend with a friend and if we go over the time then our whole world is off kilter.
5 comments:
I second that motion, Elin!
Hi Elin. As you know I have been experiencing the same stay-at-home mom situation here in the U.S. culture since last year...So thankful to be able to be at home, yet facing the realities of our culture. So, I know it well. Lots of love to you and your family! You should come visit.
Yeah Elin, there are so many things and areas of fulfillment we miss in this culture because of the lack of 'Community.' My observation is that we've replaced Fulfillment with Gratification in the U.S, and that is why Depression is so rampant.
On the other hand, as individuals or groups, we can do something to change the culture. My question is are you aware of any individuals or groups who are doing something to adress issues like this, especially for Stay at home mothers?
hello my darling elin. unfortunately, isolation and loneliness aren't only for single mothers. i suspect that loneliness is our country's #1 affliction, and i think many of us suffer from it in our own way. i'm sorry to hear of yours. i hope we can be closer, at least in spirit, and support each other in the spirit of community.
I agree with Gustaff about lacking a sense of community in this society and we face it strongly when become full-time Moms. The country where I grew up, you constantly feel as a part of a community, relatives, neighbours, collegues etc, everybody is involved in other people's lives and show real interest in each other. Here once you are not a part of a community physically, you feel forgotten and isolated. People are so busy that they almost never have time just to call and say hello not mentioning offering some help. That's why I guess people start focusing on material world and fall into consumerism trying to escape the lack of communication and loneliness.
I hope you are keeping good spirit and this stage will too pass soon. I think about you Elin and your precious Jamila, and pray for your well-being and happiness. Love from Sevda
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